Trump Saves Israel by Failing to Block Aid to Palestinians
A. THE SOURCE
1. Don’t waste your time here.
B. THE TEASE
2. Given that this spiteful, immature clown was born into great wealth, made gobs more money mismanaging socially irredeemable companies, and somehow became President of the United States, it would seem that God has already blessed Donald Trump enough to make believers seriously consider switching their allegiance to Satan.
C. THE IMAGE
3. President Trump, pretending to look like a strong, determined leader in an official photo before heading off to Mar-a-Lago for a round of golf with Tim Allen.
4. The remaining three-quarters of Trump’s signature red tie hangs down to his knees.
5. While Trump was getting his picture taken, British secret agents hired by Barack Obama installed a hidden camera in the White House kitchen’s microwave oven.
D. THE HEADLINE
6. Conservative Army is literally having an orgasm over its own fake news story.
7. The list of Israeli saviors now includes Moses, David, and the former host of “Celebrity Apprentice.”
8. Trump’s “one move” was to order the U.S. State Department to review a $221 million foreign aid disbursement to the Palestinians issued in the waning days of the Obama Administration. Although the linked article describes the grant as a “massive payment from the White House to [the] Palestinian government,” none of the money, which was approved by Congress, went directly to the Palestinian Authority. Rather, it was allocated to various infrastructure, health, education, and recovery programs in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, and also to paying back Israeli creditors.
9. According to the barely coherent article, Trump is “THE BEST” because he “stopped” the $221 million payment, which “is clearly against Israel [sic] interests and demands.” As it turns out, however, the payment actually was released before Trump took office and could not be rescinded. So, in a sense, Trump took decisive action for Israel; but in another, more accurate sense, he did absolutely nothing.
E. THE NUDGE
10. If Conservative Army loves Trump so much, why doesn’t it marry him? Or at least let him grab it by the pussy?
11. Israel must be grateful to President Trump for saving it “form it is” enemies, which evidently include Israeli banks. Maybe next year he’ll outdo himself by mentioning the Jews on Holocaust Remembrance Day.
Pandering 8/10 • Idiocy 8/10
Banality 5/10 • Vileness 2/10