Exhibit 0002

Wasserman Schultz Suspected of Murder and Evidence Tampering After Home Not Raided by FBI

USA Politics Today Facebook Post

THE SOURCE

Don’t waste your time here.

THE IMAGE

Former Democratic National Committee Chairwoman and current Florida Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz, staring blankly ahead as she contemplates her imaginary crimes.

THE REVEAL

The FBI’s “unbelievable find” consisted of wireless routers, damaged hard drives, laptops, and toner discovered in a house owned by a former IT aide to Wasserman Schultz, not in Wasserman Schultz’s house.

THE STUPID

The dead body “tied” to Wasserman Schultz washed up on a beach in Hollywood, Florida a few months ago with a gunshot wound to the head. It belonged to a 37-year-old federal prosecutor, Beranton J. Whisenant Jr., who was highly regarded by his peers. The police subsequently determined that Whisenant committed suicide following an emotional conversation with his estranged wife about ending their marriage. This personal tragedy has nothing whatsoever to do with Wasserman Schultz, other than the fact that it happened to occur in her congressional district.

Although USAPT links the two stories, the federal investigation of Wasserman Schultz’s former IT aide, Imran Awan (who also worked for several other members of Congress), in Virginia is entirely unconnected to Whisenant’s suicide in Florida. Rather, the Awan case concerns alleged improper use of computer servers and bank fraud.

Because Awan is Muslim, right-wing conspiracy nuts theorize he was stealing U.S. government secrets to facilitate terrorism, with the support and assistance of Wasserman Schultz (because, as everyone knows, Jewish women love Islamic jihadists). However, Awan never had access to classified information, and there’s no evidence of any terrorist-related activity.

The FBI did not “raid” Awan’s house; it was cordially invited in by a U.S. Marine who rented the house from Awan. Awan’s tenant called authorities after he came across what he considered to be suspicious computer equipment left behind in the garage, and the FBI came to pick it up.

THE SCORE

Pandering 8/10 • Idiocy 6/10
Banality 4/10 • Vileness 8/10

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