Clinton Wears Easily Identifiable Object Under Suit During Debate
A. THE SOURCE
1. Don’t waste your time here.
B. THE TEASE
2. Amazing — after Crooked Hillary Clinton was able to cover her trail of corruption and scandal for decades, deviously avoiding any misstep that might expose her to ridicule and prosecution, Political Insider (or rather, some idiot on Twitter whose snarky tweet came to PI’s attention) finally was able to nail her for … uh … appearing on TV with something under her suit jacket that can be readily explained.
3. Political Insider runs so many baseless stories claiming that Clinton has engaged in some kind of impropriety, it gave “Hillary is a Criminal” its own dedicated Facebook page. In this latest installment, PI speculates that the purportedly mysterious object “people noticed” under Clinton’s jacket at the first presidential debate is either equipment for a hidden earpiece, or (we kid you not) a “cough suppression machine.” Besides not being what the object actually is (see below), neither of these things would, in fact, be “criminal,” no matter how many exclamation points PI puts at the end.
C. THE IMAGE
4. Memo to the brilliant detectives at Political Insider: what you’re seeing is the bodypack transmitter for the wireless microphone that Clinton wore on the front of her jacket. Donald Trump wore one too.
5. Pointing a bunch of arrows at something doesn’t magically turn it into something else.
6. In all the excitement, Political Insider overlooked Clinton’s illegal shoulder pads.
D. THE HEADLINE
7. Ah, “people” — where would conservative media be without them? “People” are always thinking things, observing things, and saying things that happen to coincide with the paranoid nonsense these sites spew out. Just take some absurd conspiracy theory, insert “People are saying” in front of it, and — voilà! — you’ve got another fake news item that Trump can toss to his baying deplorables like a dead squirrel.
8. In the article, Political Insider also finds it “baffling” that “Hillary seemed so ready with answers and detailed facts and, almost as bizarrely, she didn’t cough or reach for water once.” In other words, it is inconceivable to PI that, unlike Trump, Clinton actually was prepared for the debate, and that, contrary to the prevailing view in right-wing Walley World, she’s not on death’s door.
9. Um, with six fucking arrows pointing to it, it’s kind of hard to miss.
E. THE NUDGE
10. Political Insider is blown away by its own article. People are saying it’s great. But in another, more accurate sense, it’s hilariously stupid.
Pandering 10/10 • Idiocy 10/10
Banality 7/10 • Vileness 5/10